Transitions are uncomfortable. Being stuck in a transition is much like having to wait in line unexpectedly causing you to be late to another engagement. I’d rather die than be late, but alas, I must live through the discomfort of transition.
In my last post, I discussed moving across the country. I planned the pants off the move and it went off without a hitch. We already had a lease on a small apartment, I had a job lined up, we used the equity from our home to pay off all of our debt, and we were already preapproved to buy a new home… Our dream home. This whole moving thing should be easy, right? Hahahahahaha.
If COVID wasn’t a thing, maybe this move would have been easier. I would have made friends and there would actually be houses on the market to purchase. To make things slightly worse, the job I had lined up was not a good fit. It is completely unlike me to just leave a job, especially when I need a job to buy a house and there aren’t many to be had.
Now I feel stuck in a position that should have only lasted three weeks and we’re rounding out two months. While the rest of the world spent the last twelve months in this weird, stagnant limbo, I am experiencing an equally rude and invasive halt to my carefully laid plans.
The best way to adjust to plans fallen through, are to make new plans… right?
I hope so. It was very unproductive of me to sit and throw myself a pity party. Depression came to hang out with me for a couple of weeks. It was not fun. It was not relaxing. I felt (feel) very undervalued. Aimless. In the past, I knew I would be unemployed and set solid goals to ensure I would not fall into such a funk. I was completely unprepared for this.
In order to conserve money while looking for a house, we chose to move into a small two bedroom apartment. In theory, this was a great idea. Our monthly expenses are a fraction of what we were spending in a place three times the size. But I’m an introvert. I need space. Being at work provided a solitary commute and a slice of time to decompress. Between dogs and kids, not even the bathroom is a solo event here.
UGH! I had to change something.
Routine. Luckily my son is attending school in our new school district. We all wake up the same time every day. For the first couple of weeks, I thought I could pick up writing fiction like I never stopped. Unfortunately, my inspiration to write fiction has abandoned me. I forced myself to write every day. I set a reading goal as well, and actually finished a whole book that was not on audio.
Goal Setting. This really helped me stick with routines. I set some pretty basic goals like journal, read something, and drink water. These things help me combat boredom which leads to depression. I use a Habit Tracker to help me stay on task and motivate me to keep up.
Stimu-LESS. Like many, wine became a huge companion during the pandemic. So did coffee, energy drinks, tea. With all those uppers comes the need for some downers so I was taking melatonin or Benadryl to counteract the caffeine consumption so I could sleep at night. Real healthy, right? It was exhausting and fed into my high blood pressure problems I discussed in my last post. Less stress and more water. Swapping for decaf. Drinking literally ANYTHING ELSE at night instead of my “glass” of wine. Yes, the bottle is made of glass, but that’s really no excuse, is it?
Constantly chasing energy and sleep was killing me. There was a week when I even completely cut coffee. Maybe one day when I start my journey to become a Buddhist monk (Read: never) I will completely cut coffee for good. My relationship with coffee is very involved and you can read more about it HERE.
The best way to face transition is to just sit in it, in real time. Just wait through the discomfort and stop clawing for a distraction.
Gratitude. Want a humbling lesson? Try finding things be happy about when you are so incredibly sad. There was one day I just slept all day for no reason. As much as I love sleeping I NEVER sleep during the day. I needed the rest so bad. My body and mind just threw in the towel and when I woke up, I was very thankful to my husband for taking care of the wee kid, extremely thankful our apartment is in a quiet area where all I heard outside the window were birds and other wildlife (Pictured below is the view from my desk). My introversion was appeased with the long day to myself. I LOVE my family, but there are times when I need to recharge so I can be the best wife/ mom I can be.
Transitions are uncomfortable, but necessary for progress. I constantly tell myself I am right where I need to be when I’m supposed to be here. Maybe just adopting one of these techniques (Routine, Goal Setting, Stimu-LESS, and Gratitude) you might find an easier way through your own transition.
Again, thank you for hanging out with me and reading. This blog is a big piece of my routine and moving through transition. I’m honored to share this journey together. CHEERS!