I really wish I had kept more journals when I was younger. It is like looking in the mirror and seeing myself 11 years ago.

“I never thought I’d see 21 single and without kids. I can’t imagine 25 at all. I’m in love with the potential I possess to be everything I have ever dreamed but I dread the work it will take to get there. I’m proud of how far I’ve come but I know I could have gone further.”

In the context, when I was 18 my close friend was getting married, as were many others in the small town I lived. I thought that would be my future as well, to be Betty Homemaker. At 21 I had just finished basic training and was headed home to join my National Guard unit. With multiple injuries, it had taken me a lot of time to recover and complete that chapter and I could not help but feel like, though I succeeded, I had failed a little.

At 25 I met “the man”. At 28 I had “the kid”. And at 32 we had our family; husband and wife, boy and girl, and dog. He’s a good dog. We both continue to work our asses off, but all in all I would be comfortable to say we live the good ole American Dream.

So I look in the mirror and I can’t help but laugh at that  young girl. Had I thought my time had past me by??  It is so hard to say. For reasons unknown to me, I have very little memory of ages 16-24. It might have been due to the trauma I’ve witnessed, but it does not explain the length of time that is merely sprinkled with familiarity. I do not remember ever writing anything, and now I am finding clues to my past in my own writing. Probably the weirdest thing. Maybe it will become my next story.



Dacia Arnold is an author that struggles to find a balance of work, motherhood, marriage, writing, and the occasional craft. Her first full length novel, Apparent Power, is in the works to be released December 2018. Dacia served 10 years in the U.S. Army as a combat medic and deployed twice to Iraq and often incorporates these experiences into her writings both fiction and non-fiction. She currently lives in Denver, Co with her husband, two children, and a fat beagle named Watson.

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