Dacia M Arnold

Mom, Author, SuperWoman

5 comments

I’m just sitting on the fence.

 

 

There has been a lot of fence sitting happening in my life. With it, comes general unrest. I usually pride myself in taking decisive actions with measured outcomes, but it seems that I have found myself in a sort of limbo that I cannot seem to choose my way out of.

I am not a quitter. I am not one to be pushed around or settle for less than a human deserves. So what does one say in the face of promises made when the real work is out of your hands? Sure there are things I can do to influence my situation, to compromise, but I am finding year after year that the compromise only works when the parties involved follow through. I also feel like people trudge the trenches of far worse things and come out alive and maybe happier.

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So now what? I wait. I wait and see, which absolutely tears at my being. I continue my day like everything is fine and well and wait to see if 1. Something changes or 2. I can handle the same cycle of events another year.

Subsequently, my writing will take a back burner so I can focus more closely on things that secretly got out of hand. Maybe I will not even blog until I am able to get out of this funk, as I am not comfortable letting my mind wander further than work and kids.

via Daily Word Prompt 181 “Fence” — All About Writing and more

5 thoughts on “I’m just sitting on the fence.

  1. I hear you, friend. Monkey wrenches in my plans. I hate them, or used to. You were in the military so you know how important routine is to you, structure, discipline. You have poured your heart and soul into writing this book. You stuck to your schedule, did the work, wracked your brain until you were sure you got it right. Now you’ve had to put it in someone else’s hands and wait, and try to come to an agreement with a publisher/publicist, etc. The real world has caught up with you, or you with it, and some things have gotten out of your control. I hope this doesn’t sound presumptuous. I’m just reading between the lines here. May I offer you something that has worked for me for many years? Give it all to God. He sees down the road, knows the end from the beginning. He loves you and wants the best for you. Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 7:7-11 says, ” Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8) For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. 9) Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? 10) Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? 11) If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”
    Not trying to preach, only encourage.

    • I wish my book was with an agent. lol I havent even made it that far 🙁 Thank you for the kind words. I need them (later when I’m home and dont care if my mascara runs.)

  2. You are one of the strongest people I know. And sometimes the strongest thing is to move our needs to the front of the line despite our nature to nurture. Love you.

  3. I wish I could read between the lines but I’m terrible in that regard. But I’m sending you hugs your way and letting you know that things will work out in the end. If this has to do with the book of your heart, it will work out whether it gets traditionally published or self-published. I’m such a do-it-yourself-er in that respect so it never even occurred to me to query the moment I thought I found my target reader. Of course, it took me another year and a half before I figured half of it but it was just part of the journey and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Hang in there!

    • I wish it were my book. Then I could have some control or grasp on how to fix it. I’m all about elbow grease. lol Maybe I wont put it down, but I do need to stop looking at it for a bit.

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